


Forever and Always

by nighting_gale17



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dubious Consent, Father-Son Relationship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy, Worried Bobby Nash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 18:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18580117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nighting_gale17/pseuds/nighting_gale17
Summary: Therapy has not been kind to Buck and he finally reaches his tipping point.Cue Dad!Bobby to the rescue.





	Forever and Always

**Author's Note:**

> Hi yes I fully embrace that I am a Taylor Swift stan first and foremost.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy this! I've been toying with this idea for a while and it's so nice to finally have it all on paper. The Therapist (grrrr) from season one Buck had to see has angered me yet again to this day and I HAD to write this. I was going to incorporate some Buddie, but I decided I wanted to just have a father-son moment instead. This is just a one-shot, so use your imagination to decide what happens next! (Also, this happens during an unspecified time in the show)
> 
> Last note, I don't remember The Therapist's name s her name is Allison in this AU.

The door shut behind him with a resounding thud as Buck flew out of the room, completely ignoring the rest of the team in the loft. His head felt fuzzy and the tight knot of panic in his chest didn’t seem like it was going away any time soon. He ducked into the locker room, back into the corner out of sight from everyone else.

Buck collapsed against the lockers, slowly sliding down until he was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. He forced himself to take a deep breath to try and calm down, desperately hoping for the sting of tears behind his eyes to disappear.

He felt… disgusting. Used. He wanted to take a burning hot shower and just burn everything away.

That was the only way he could describe the way he was feeling after having another ‘meeting’ with his therapist, Allison. He knew it was fucked up, what they were doing, but what else could he do? Surely no one would believe him if he told him he was being forced to do this. And then Allison would take away her approval to let him stay in the field and if he couldn't be a firefighter then he—

Well, he didn’t know what he would be anymore.

“Buck? You alright?” Bobby’s voice caused Buck to reluctantly lift his gaze up towards the other man. He was crouching in front of him with an expression of concern on his face. When did he get there? Buck didn't hear him come in. His eyes were full of worry and a softness that Buck didn’t feel comfortable trying to name, making it so he had to look away, staring back down at his shoes.

“I’m fine.” he mumbled, unable to even convince himself.

Bobby hummed disbelievingly and Buck glanced to the side as the older man sat down against the lockers next to him before he looked away again. “You ran out of that meeting with Allison pretty fast.”

Buck wasn’t sure if Bobby noticed the involuntary flinch he gave at her name, his body instinctively curling a little tighter in on itself. He cleared his throat and forced himself to speak evenly, “Yeah, well, you know. Talking about feelings and stuff— not really my thing.” he gave a tight smile, hoping it was enough to convince Bobby to leave the topic alone.

“Buck.” Ugh, there was the tone. The ‘dad’-warning that meant Bobby knew that Buck knew he was lying to him. Usually, that was enough to get him talking, to confess the truth but— Buck swallowed and pressed his lips together tightly as he closed his eyes. He couldn’t talk about this.

What would Bobby think of him? He’d probably be disappointed Buck was becoming Buck 1.0 again. Maybe disgusted with the amount of times this had happened with Allison. Honestly, Buck would agree with him. He was disgusted with himself. He thought he had gotten past this… this playboy who slept around with anyone who walked but apparently he was still the worthless—

“Buck, you know you can talk to us too.” Bobby murmured quietly, breaking through Buck’s thoughts of self-loathing. “ Whatever it is you’re going through. I know these past couple of days since the… incident have been rough but—”

“I’m having sex with Allison.” Buck blurted out, regretting saying the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Bobby’s silence was deafening, but Buck refused to look up, his eyes brimming with unshed tears at the confession. “During every session. It’s not actually counseling.” he twisted his hands together anxiously, feeling like he was going to be sick. “And I know you’re probably disappointed that I-I can’t seem to keep it in my pants,” Buck continued, his voice growing hysterical, “I-I’m useless for anything that’s not sex or suicidal stunts, I know that, but—”

“Did she say that?” Bobby interrupted him, his voice so low that Buck looked up in surprise and was shocked to see the anger in his eyes. Buck shrunk back instinctively, lowering his head as his breaths started to come sharper and faster, the knot of anxiety in his chest choking him and making it hard to breathe. Damnit, he knew Bobby was going to be disappointed, but he wasn’t expecting to be angry, especially this angry.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Buck said quickly, his nails digging in sharply to the palms of his hands as the tears started to drop down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he repeated again, his breath hitching into a quiet murmur. “Please don’t fire me.”

“Buck. Buck look at me,” Bobby asked, his voice gone quiet again but not as low in anger as it had been before. “Please.”

Buck inhaled shakily, the breath seeming to catch in his throat when he swallowed before he slowly looked back over at Bobby, his gaze half-blocked by the curls falling into his eyes. The anger in Bobby’s eyes had lessened down, though it was still there, he seemed sad now too. Sad that he would have to fire Buck?

“Buck, none of that is true,” his voice was soft but firm when he spoke and he put a finger on Buck’s chin to keep his gaze up when he started to look away again. “No, listen to me. You, Evan, are a wonderful firefighter, friend, brother… and son.” he murmured after a split-second of hesitation. “You are not something that is just used for sex and then tossed away.” he continued, his voice firm. Bobby’s other hand gently wiped away tears off his cheek and Buck realized with a start he was crying now. “Tell me what’s been happening.”

“She was the therapist I saw after… after what happened at the Ferris wheel.” Buck confessed, swallowing hard against the lump of grief that welled up in his throat. “Except, we didn’t actually do any therapy but we… had sex. And now she’s my therapist this time, and I don’t know if she’s mad I never accepted her Facebook friend request or what but she said she would refuse to clear me for active duty unless I had sex with her during our sessions.”

Once he started, he found he couldn’t stop, and he told Bobby how alone he felt sometimes and how he still struggled with things the rest of the team had already gotten over and he didn’t know what to **_do_** because he didn’t want to get in trouble for not having sex with her and he had to be a firefighter because if he wasn’t a firefighter then he was _nothing_.

When he finished talking, he waited anxiously as Bobby seemed to close his eyes and take a deep breath. “Why didn’t tell any of this was happening?” he sounded hurt when he spoke and Buck flinched slightly.

“You all see her too and seemed to think she was doing a really good job.” Buck murmured quietly, his heart thumping loudly in his ears. “I-I wasn’t sure you would believe me over her.”

A strange noise came from Bobby and the older man leaned forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Buck. “Buck, we will always believe you.” he stated fervently, as if it was a fact, like saying the sky was blue and the earth was round. “Always.”

Buck melted into Bobby’s side, tears silently sliding down his cheeks. The weight on his shoulders seemed lighter, now, but he still couldn’t quite shake the anxiety balled up in his chest. “So, you’re not going to fire me?”

Bobby huffed out a thick chuckle and pulled back from the hug, though he kept an arm wrapped around Buck’s shoulders. “No, definitely not.” His eyes hardened. “We’re firing her. Then we’ll be making sure you get a therapist to talk to that actual helps.” Bobby ended softly.

Buck closed his eyes briefly against the rush of relief that he wasn’t going to be fired, he didn’t have to have sex anymore, and he might even be able to… heal. He opened his eyes when he realized Bobby was still talking, tensing slightly at his words. “We’re also going to have you talk to Athena when she gets here and the three of us can talk about pressing charges against her.”

“I don’t really think—” Buck began, unsure, but cut himself off at Bobby’s stern glare.

“This is not up for negotiation, Buck. She used a gross misuse of her power and authority over you to force you to do things you otherwise wouldn’t have.” Bobby spoke carefully, a kind of careful that made Buck’s stomach twist because he knew, _he knew_ , but he was glad Bobby didn’t come out and say it. Not yet, at least. “As your Captain, this isn’t something that can go unreported.”

Buck licked his lips nervously before he hesitantly nodded. “Okay.” he murmured quietly.

“Okay.” Bobby echoed, squeezing Buck’s shoulder comfortingly before he stood on his feet, arm extended. “Come on, you can help me make dinner for the rest of the team. I’ve got a new lasagna recipe I want to try that I think you’ll be able to make fairly easily.”

Buck let out a long breath before he reached up and grabbed Bobby’s hand, letting the other man pull him to his feet. He smiled as Bobby slung an arm over his shoulder, speaking in that comforting voice about the lasagna recipe he found in one of Athena’s old cookbooks and Buck allowed himself to relax. The ball of tension in his chest didn’t disappear completely, but as he laughed while he made dinner with Bobby and teased with the team, the weight grew lighter.

Things weren’t okay. But they were getting better, now, and he had someone in his corner.

**_Always_**.


End file.
